I was sitting in the bathroom, which is never a good place for a story to start. It was a small personal bathroom--really just a toilet and a door; the sink was outside. It was like a closet, I guess, with a toilet in it, tiled with what I assumed was meant to be a masculine mix of baby blue and mint green.
With nothing to distract me, I sat quietly, minding my own business. I fiddled with my phone for a minute--it was 10PM. I couldn't believe I was still at work. Zero bars; I couldn't text anyone. Sitting quietly, I finally resorted to looking at the tile to pass the time. I made patterns; there's an S tetris block. There's another a straight skinny Tetris block. There's a Z tetris block. I'm not very creative. The patterns blurred into a kind of zen meditation, with the patterns becoming part of the wall, then the wall become a lattice of burning black points.
That's completely normal, of course. Watch bathroom tiles long enough and an optical illusion will start to happen as the rods and cones in your eyes struggle to keep up with the sustained images. Pulses raced between the dots and slowly the lines pulled out of focus and seemed to rise up off the floor. The blood was starting to pool in my brain, I suspected. Slowly I shifted my perspective, blinking, then closing my eyes to clear away the visions and adjusting my posture to try and normalize systolic pressure in my head.
I sat, eyes closed, watching as the black points shifted to white to remain visible against the inside of my eyelids. That was when the noises started. A soft scraping; a normal bathroom noise. I listened to it curiously, wondering who had walked into the bathroom. Probably somebody hitting the urinal. The scraping was joined by a faint sigh, like the shift in pressure that happens in a partially opened breezeway. Somewhere little columns were being tallied and I realized that there weren't any urinals, or other toilets, and there was nobody in the bathroom.
I opened my eyes. One of the tiles had come loose and lay on the ground beneath a square, tile-shaped hole. The stall filled with scraping noises as another tile came loose, hovering an inch off the wall, then slid sideways and clattered into a corner. All the tiles were moving now, shifting. Some jerked forward and spun horizontally, others impressed themselves into the walls. They moved in a pastel tide, exposing a rapidly growing hole.
The moving tiles were so fascinating that it took me nearly a minute to realize that the hole wasn't right. Rather than cracking grout and wood base separating the bathroom from the hallway and external sink, a shaft of warm sunlight fell across my lap. I stared through the hole at rolling green meadows and a golden sky full of fluffy pink clouds.
With nothing to distract me, I sat quietly, minding my own business. I fiddled with my phone for a minute--it was 10PM. I couldn't believe I was still at work. Zero bars; I couldn't text anyone. Sitting quietly, I finally resorted to looking at the tile to pass the time. I made patterns; there's an S tetris block. There's another a straight skinny Tetris block. There's a Z tetris block. I'm not very creative. The patterns blurred into a kind of zen meditation, with the patterns becoming part of the wall, then the wall become a lattice of burning black points.
That's completely normal, of course. Watch bathroom tiles long enough and an optical illusion will start to happen as the rods and cones in your eyes struggle to keep up with the sustained images. Pulses raced between the dots and slowly the lines pulled out of focus and seemed to rise up off the floor. The blood was starting to pool in my brain, I suspected. Slowly I shifted my perspective, blinking, then closing my eyes to clear away the visions and adjusting my posture to try and normalize systolic pressure in my head.
I sat, eyes closed, watching as the black points shifted to white to remain visible against the inside of my eyelids. That was when the noises started. A soft scraping; a normal bathroom noise. I listened to it curiously, wondering who had walked into the bathroom. Probably somebody hitting the urinal. The scraping was joined by a faint sigh, like the shift in pressure that happens in a partially opened breezeway. Somewhere little columns were being tallied and I realized that there weren't any urinals, or other toilets, and there was nobody in the bathroom.
I opened my eyes. One of the tiles had come loose and lay on the ground beneath a square, tile-shaped hole. The stall filled with scraping noises as another tile came loose, hovering an inch off the wall, then slid sideways and clattered into a corner. All the tiles were moving now, shifting. Some jerked forward and spun horizontally, others impressed themselves into the walls. They moved in a pastel tide, exposing a rapidly growing hole.
The moving tiles were so fascinating that it took me nearly a minute to realize that the hole wasn't right. Rather than cracking grout and wood base separating the bathroom from the hallway and external sink, a shaft of warm sunlight fell across my lap. I stared through the hole at rolling green meadows and a golden sky full of fluffy pink clouds.
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